Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“What's something you needed to hear a few years ago that nobody said to you?”
What to listen for
A thoughtful answer here often reveals a moment they carried alone, maybe confusion, maybe fear, and what they're really saying is they needed someone steady in their corner back then. Resist the urge to apologize or explain why nobody said it; just take it in.
If they mention something you could've said, that's not a verdict on you as a parent, it's them working through the past out loud. Let it land without getting defensive.
If they say "nothing, I was fine," believe them and don't dig, some kids genuinely don't need to relive it, and forcing reflection can feel like an exam instead of a chat.
What this tells you
Whatever gap they name shows you what kind of steady voice they still need from you now, even if the moment itself has passed.