Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“Can you think of a time someone's criticism actually ended up helping you?”
What to listen for
If they can name one, it means they've had at least one experience of feedback landing as care instead of attack, and that they trust you enough to admit criticism sometimes works. Praise the honesty here more than the lesson.
If they say no criticism has ever helped, don't argue the point, it might mean most critique in their life has felt like judgment rather than support, which is useful for you to know without lecturing them about it.
If they mention something you said, resist the urge to say "see, I told you", just let the moment be theirs.
What this tells you
Whether they can point to helpful criticism shows you if they currently experience feedback as something that builds them up or tears them down.