Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“Is there a part of your personality that you think came from somewhere totally unexpected, like a random show or a friend or something?”
What to listen for
If they trace a trait to an unexpected source with enthusiasm, they're proud of piecing together who they are from more than just family, they need that self-authorship respected, not corrected.
If they credit a friend or influencer, resist any urge to raise an eyebrow, they need to know their outside influences are theirs to have without judgment.
If they shrug, you could offer a guess about something you've noticed, lightly, and see if it lands, just don't insist on it.
What this tells you
What they credit for shaping their personality shows you how they see themselves as built from their own choices, not just their upbringing.