Tonight with your 5 to 8 year old
The prompt
“Why do you think saying please and thank you actually matters, in your own words?”
What to listen for
If they connect it to making others feel good, that shows real empathy forming behind the manners, not just habit. Praise that insight specifically.
If they say it's just a rule to avoid getting in trouble, that's normal at this age, you can gently add the 'why' behind it without lecturing.
If they're unsure, ask how it feels when someone says thank you to them.
What this tells you
This shows you whether good manners are starting to come from real caring about others, not just following instructions.