Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old

The prompt

“Do you think rules about manners should be pretty strict, or does it depend on the situation?”

What to listen for

If they can reason through it with nuance, some situations calling for more formality than others, they're developing real judgment rather than just following rules blindly, which is worth encouraging.

If they think all manners rules are pointless, don't argue the point directly; ask about a time good manners actually made someone feel respected, to bring it back to the human reason behind the rule.

If they say "I don't know," ask about a specific manner, like saying please, and whether it matters to them.

What this tells you

This tells you whether they're starting to understand the reasoning behind rules, not just the rules themselves.