Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“Do you think it matters if you keep a small promise, like texting someone back at a certain time, or is that not a big deal?”
What to listen for
If they treat small promises as genuinely important, that shows a strong internal sense of integrity, they want to be someone whose word means something, independent of anyone checking up on them.
If they say it depends on the person or the situation, that's a thoughtful, nuanced answer, not a cop-out, notice the reasoning behind it rather than pushing for an absolute rule.
If they brush it off entirely, it might be worth gently sharing why it matters to you, without turning it into a lecture about their character.
What this tells you
How seriously they take small promises reflects the kind of person they're choosing to become when no one is grading them on it.