Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“Is there something you're actually pretty good at that almost nobody's ever seen you do?”
What to listen for
If they light up describing a hidden talent, that shows there's a part of them they value privately, maybe because it's not tied to grades or performance for anyone else, that's a healthy sign of an identity that exists just for them.
If they seem shy or unsure about sharing it, resist the urge to ask them to prove it or perform it right now, just admiring that it exists is enough.
A "not really" answer might just mean they haven't thought of themselves that way yet, which is worth revisiting another time, lightly.
What this tells you
A hidden talent they haven't shown anyone reveals a part of their identity that exists independent of anyone else's approval or applause.