Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“If you could keep one thing from how we do things and leave one thing behind when you're on your own, what would they be?”
What to listen for
If they answer with ease and specifics, it means they feel free to evaluate the family honestly instead of feeling obligated to only say nice things, that's real trust in the relationship.
The "leave behind" part might sting a little to hear; try to receive it with curiosity instead of defensiveness, since their honesty here is a compliment to how safe they feel with you.
If they only want to answer the "keep" half, that's fine too, they may just not want to risk hurting you tonight, and that instinct itself says something kind about them.
What this tells you
This shows you which parts of their upbringing they're choosing on purpose to carry forward, rather than just repeating out of habit.