Tonight with your 5 to 8 year old

The prompt

“Tell me about a time you got yourself calm again without anyone helping, what did you actually do?”

What to listen for

If they can describe a real strategy (breathing, going to their room, squeezing something, counting), that's a big deal, it means they're starting to trust their own ability to handle big feelings, which is exactly the kind of confidence that grows with noticing. Praise the specific action, not just "good job calming down."

If they can't remember doing it alone, or say someone always has to help, that's useful too, it just means they may still need you to walk through calming strategies together a bit longer before it becomes their own tool.

If they say "I don't know," ask about the last time they got upset and what happened right before they felt better, sometimes the moment is there, they just haven't named it as "calming down."

What this tells you

Whether they can name their own calm-down strategy shows how much they currently trust themselves to handle hard moments.