Tonight with your 5 to 8 year old
The prompt
“Want to invent our own secret handshake right now, just for us two?”
What to listen for
If they jump right in with moves and want to practice it until it's perfect, they're telling you they crave something that's just theirs with you, a private signal that says "we're a team."
If they add a name or a rule for when to use it, that's them wanting a lasting sign of connection, not just a one-time game, they want proof this bond keeps going.
If they seem shy about it, start with just a simple fist bump and build from there, some kids need the invitation to feel low-pressure before they'll be silly.
What this tells you
Whether they eagerly build a shared ritual with you shows how much they want visible, ongoing proof that they matter specifically to you.