Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Is there something you like that you're a little afraid people would judge you for?”
What to listen for
If they open up about it, that's a big sign of trust, they're choosing to be vulnerable about something that feels risky to admit, and it deserves a warm, non-judgmental response.
If they mention worrying what friends specifically would think, that shows how much social belonging weighs on their choices right now, reassure them that genuine interests are worth protecting.
If they say nothing comes to mind, don't push, this is exactly the kind of question that might get answered days later, once they feel it was truly safe to.
What this tells you
This shows whether they feel safe being fully honest with you even about the parts of themselves they hide from others.