Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Has a parent ever surprised you by being totally different than you expected?”
What to listen for
A genuine story shows they're starting to see parents as full people, not just rule-makers, that's an important, healthy shift in how they understand family.
If they describe a moment of a parent being silly, vulnerable, or unexpectedly skilled at something, that memory is likely doing real bonding work, worth savoring together.
If they say no, that's a good invitation for you to share something about yourself they might not know, surprising them back can open the door wider next time.
What this tells you
This shows how three-dimensional their picture of you currently is, beyond just your role as a parent.