Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Is there a friend you'd trust completely with a secret? What makes you trust them?”
What to listen for
A clear name and clear reasons show they've thought carefully about what real trust looks like, that's a healthy, discerning way to choose who gets close to them.
If their reasons focus on loyalty or not judging them, that tells you exactly what they need most from close relationships right now.
If they say no one, that's worth taking seriously without alarm, ask what would need to be true for them to trust someone that much, which reveals what's currently missing.
What this tells you
This shows what trust actually means to them and whether they currently have someone who offers it.