Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Tell me about a time you pushed through something really frustrating instead of giving up.”
What to listen for
A detailed story with real frustration in it shows they're building genuine grit, the fact that it was hard is exactly the point, not something to gloss over.
If they mention almost quitting partway through, that honesty is valuable, acknowledge how close it came rather than only celebrating the finish.
If nothing comes to mind, ask about something they're currently finding frustrating, you might catch them in the middle of building this exact skill right now.
What this tells you
This shows how they currently handle the gap between wanting to quit and choosing to keep going.