Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old

The prompt

“Is there a place that feels totally safe to you, and one that doesn't feel safe at all, what's the difference?”

What to listen for

If they name specific places and can explain why, people, noise, predictability, who's in charge, they're developing real insight into what safety means to them, and they need you to take that seriously rather than brush it off.

If they struggle to name an unsafe place, that might mean they generally feel secure, which is worth quietly celebrating. If they hesitate or seem uneasy naming one, go gently, they may need reassurance that telling you won't cause a big reaction.

If they say "I don't know," ask about a specific place instead, like their classroom or a friend's house, to give them a smaller starting point.

What this tells you

This tells you how much they feel able to trust their environment and the adults responsible for it.