Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“How do you feel about being reminded to do your chores versus just doing them on your own?”
What to listen for
If they admit reminders feel annoying but they still need them sometimes, that's an honest, self-aware answer worth respecting rather than lecturing about responsibility.
If they insist they don't need reminders at all, that might be true, or it might be pride talking, consider offering a small trial of more independence and see what happens.
If they say "I don't know," ask about the last time they were reminded and how it actually felt in the moment.
What this tells you
This tells you how ready they feel to manage responsibility on their own terms instead of on yours.