Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Do you and [sibling's name] have a running joke that's just yours? What is it?”
What to listen for
A quick, easy answer with real detail tells you the sibling bond has its own private language, which is a strong sign of security between them, that's worth celebrating out loud. Ask them to explain the joke even if it doesn't make sense to you; the explaining itself deepens the connection.
If they hesitate or say 'not really,' that's useful without being alarming, sibling closeness ebbs and flows, and this just tells you where things stand right now, not where they'll stay.
If the 'joke' is actually a jab or something that stings one of them, listen for tone, sometimes what's framed as funny is doing double duty as a way to express real annoyance.
What this tells you
This shows you the current state of their private world with a sibling, whether it's a source of comfort or something more strained right now.