Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old

The prompt

“What's a way you show someone you care about them without actually saying it?”

What to listen for

Listen for the specific action they name, doing something for someone, remembering a small detail, showing up when it matters. This tells you how their sense of love and loyalty is expressed in the world, which is often more comfortable for kids this age than saying feelings out loud.

If they mention someone specific they do this for, that relationship is clearly important to them right now, and it's worth asking a gentle follow-up about that person.

If they say they don't really do that, ask if they wish someone did it for them more, flipping the direction of the question can reveal just as much.

What this tells you

This shows you how they currently express affection, which helps you recognize their love language even when they don't use the words.