Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“How much say do you think you should get in decisions that affect the whole family?”
What to listen for
A confident, specific answer (like naming which decisions they want input on) shows they're ready to be treated as a real stakeholder in family life, not just someone things happen to.
If they name something surprisingly big, that's less about winning that particular issue and more about wanting to be consulted and taken seriously, the asking matters as much as the outcome.
If they say 'none, you guys decide,' that might reflect real trust in you, or it might mean they've learned their input doesn't change much, worth exploring which one it is.
What this tells you
This shows you how much ownership your child feels over their own life within the family.