Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“What does it actually feel like right before you take a test?”
What to listen for
A specific description shows good emotional self-awareness, being able to name nerves in the body (stomach, hands, racing thoughts) helps them manage that feeling better over time.
If the description sounds like more than normal nerves, dread, feeling sick, panic, that's worth a slower, separate conversation about how much pressure they're carrying around performance.
If they say they don't feel anything, that could be true confidence, or it could mean they've learned to numb out the nerves rather than notice them, either way, it's useful to know.
What this tells you
This shows you how much pressure your child is carrying around performing well, and whether it feels manageable to them.