Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old

The prompt

“If you were in charge of the phone rule during meals and homework, would you keep it the same or change it?”

What to listen for

If they propose a thoughtful tweak instead of just "no rules," they're starting to reason about fairness and structure like a person who wants a say, not just less supervision, that's healthy independence forming.

If they push hard for total freedom, they may be testing how much control they actually have over their own life, and want to know their opinion is taken seriously even if the answer stays no.

If they say the rule is fine as is or don't have much to add, they may just be comfortable, no need to read more into it.

What this tells you

This tells you how much they want a voice in decisions that affect them, and whether they feel their opinion actually counts in this house.