Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Is there someone at school you kind of want to be better friends with, but it just hasn't happened yet?”
What to listen for
If they name someone right away and can say why, they're paying attention to who they're drawn to and probably feel steady enough to want more connection, that's a good sign, not a gap.
If they hesitate, say they don't know how to start, or seem a little embarrassed, they may need reassurance that reaching out to someone doesn't have to be a big move, small and simple counts.
If they shrug it off with "I don't know" or "no one," don't push, just mention you're glad to hear about any friend stuff whenever they want, and let it go for tonight.
What this tells you
This shows you how ready they are to take a small social risk and whether they feel confident enough to reach toward a new friendship.