Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“What's a family in-joke or saying that only we would actually get?”
What to listen for
An immediate, delighted answer shows they feel like a true insider in the family's shared history and humor, that sense of belonging is quietly powerful.
If they launch into the backstory of the joke unprompted, that's a sign this memory carries real warmth for them, worth revisiting and adding to on purpose.
If they can't think of one, that's a fun invitation to start creating one together tonight, rather than a sign anything's missing.
What this tells you
This shows you how much your child feels like a true, permanent member of the family's private world.