Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Has there been something we disagreed about that you still think was unfair on my part?”
What to listen for
A direct, honest answer, even if it stings a little to hear, shows real trust that you can handle their disagreement without punishing them for having it.
If they explain their reasoning clearly, take it seriously rather than defending your original decision immediately; even if the rule stands, feeling heard changes how it lands for them.
If they say nothing comes to mind, that might be true, or it might mean disagreeing with you out loud still feels risky, leave space for it to come up later if it does.
What this tells you
This shows you whether your child feels safe enough to challenge you directly when something feels unfair.