Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“What actually makes you feel safe?”
What to listen for
If they name specific people, places, or routines, they have a clear internal map of what security feels like, which is a great foundation to build on.
If they struggle to answer, they may not have had much practice putting that feeling into words, try offering a few examples to help them locate it.
If they mention something surprising, like a specific time of day or sound, take that seriously, small sensory things often carry real emotional weight for kids.
What this tells you
This shows you exactly what ingredients make up their sense of safety, so you know what to protect and repeat.