Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old

The prompt

“Is there something you learned from me or your other parent that you've made totally your own?”

What to listen for

A genuine answer here is a quiet gift, it means something you modeled actually took root, but in their own version, which shows they're not just copying you, they're building themselves out of what you gave them. Let this one land without turning it into a lesson about your parenting.

If they twist it in an unexpected direction, even one you wouldn't have predicted, that's a good sign, it means the value is alive in them, not just recited back at you.

If they can't think of anything, don't fish for compliments here, just enjoy whatever else the conversation turns into.

What this tells you

This shows you which parts of your example actually shaped who they are, and reassures you that your influence is there even as they become distinctly their own person.