Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“What's something you're into that you don't think I really get, walk me through why you love it?”
What to listen for
If they light up and go deep into details, they need to feel like their world is worth taking seriously, not just tolerated. Let them teach you without rushing them or steering it toward a lesson.
If they undersell it, "it's dumb, whatever", they may be bracing for judgment. That's a cue they need to feel safe being genuinely into something without it being mocked or minimized, even gently.
A shrug or "I don't know, it's just fun" is fine too, some hobbies resist explanation. Let it be enough that they have something that's theirs.
What this tells you
What they choose to explain, and how freely they explain it, shows you how safe they feel owning their interests as truly their own.