Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old

The prompt

“Is there a physical feature or habit of yours that's become kind of part of your story, like people associate it with you?”

What to listen for

If they name something with pride or affection, a laugh, a way of talking, a quirky habit, they've made peace with what makes them distinct, which means they feel comfortable being recognizable as themselves.

If they mention something they're self-conscious about, listen without rushing to reassure too fast; let them finish their own take on it first, since they may be further along in accepting it than you expect.

A joking, exaggerated answer is often just as revealing as a serious one, they're telling you what they think stands out about them either way.

What this tells you

The traits they claim as "part of their story" show you what they've already accepted as authentically theirs.