Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“Do you think you're a different person in a crisis than you are on a normal day, like, how so?”
What to listen for
If they describe becoming calmer or more focused under pressure, they're discovering a capability in themselves that builds real confidence, a sign they're starting to trust who they are when it counts.
If they say they fall apart or freeze, respond with curiosity, not concern in your voice, this is them learning about themselves, and self-knowledge here matters more than reassurance right now.
A "I don't know, I've never really been tested" is honest and fine, some things you only learn by living them.
What this tells you
How they see themselves under pressure reveals what they currently believe about their own inner strength.