Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“Has there been a moment where cheering for a teammate mattered more to you than how you played?”
What to listen for
If they light up describing someone else's win, they find real belonging in being part of something bigger than their own performance, a sign they feel connected to their team or group as people, not just competitors.
If they can't quite recall one, that's not a failure, some kids are still building that sense of team, and it can develop with time and more shared experience.
A humble "I mean, we're all just trying to win together" is its own quiet answer about how they see the group.
What this tells you
Whether they can point to caring about someone else's win shows you how much they feel like they belong to something beyond themselves.