Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old

The prompt

“How do you feel when conflict happens in front of other people, versus just between you two?”

What to listen for

If they say it feels worse in public, they care about their dignity and how they're perceived, and they need to feel their reputation and self-respect are protected, even mid-argument.

If they say it doesn't matter to them either way, that might be true confidence, or it might mean they've gotten used to conflict happening publicly in a way that stopped feeling notable, worth a gentle, non-alarmed follow-up.

A quick "I hate it" without elaboration is still useful, it tells you to handle disagreements with them more privately going forward.

What this tells you

How they feel about public versus private conflict shows you what they need to feel safe and respected when things get tense.