Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“How would you explain the difference between a rule and actual trust?”
What to listen for
If they articulate that trust is earned and rules exist until it is, they understand the relationship between freedom and responsibility, and are likely ready to be given more of the latter as they demonstrate the former.
If they argue rules feel like a lack of trust regardless of reasoning, that's worth hearing out fully, it may point to wanting more credit for the trust they feel they've already earned.
A cynical "rules are just about control" deserves a genuine, non-defensive conversation, not a correction, they may have a point somewhere in there.
What this tells you
How they distinguish rules from trust shows how much autonomy they currently feel they've earned versus still need to prove.