Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“Was there a moment recently where you caught yourself acting more like an adult than a kid?”
What to listen for
A proud or thoughtful answer, handling a hard conversation, making a responsible call, staying calm when a younger sibling was struggling, shows they're noticing their own growth and starting to see themselves as capable and trustworthy.
If they mention it happened in a moment where you weren't around, that independence is worth naming and celebrating specifically, since it shows they're developing judgment they can rely on without supervision.
A modest "I don't know" answer is fine, you can gently offer a moment you noticed instead, which often means more coming from you.
What this tells you
Noticing their own grown-up moments shows how much they're starting to trust their own competence and judgment.