Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“Has forgiving someone ever actually been harder than whatever they did to upset you in the first place?”
What to listen for
A thoughtful yes shows real emotional depth, they understand that letting go of resentment takes its own kind of work, separate from the original hurt, which is a mature insight for any age.
If they describe still holding onto something, that's worth honoring without pushing them to forgive on a timeline, feelings like that often need to move at their own pace.
If they say forgiving is usually pretty easy for them, that's worth appreciating too, as long as it doesn't come from avoiding the hurt altogether.
What this tells you
How hard forgiveness has been for them shows how deeply they feel hurt and how much strength it takes for them to choose to let it go.