Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“What would you want future family gatherings, like when everyone's grown up, to actually feel like?”
What to listen for
If they describe warmth, laughter, or specific traditions continuing, that's a sign they see themselves as an active part of the family's future, not just a passing member, that vision deserves real enthusiasm back.
If they mention wanting something different from current gatherings, like less tension or more of certain people, listen without defensiveness, they need to feel like naming what's missing now is safe, not a complaint about the whole family.
If they haven't thought that far ahead, that's completely normal, the question can just be a nice one to leave open.
What this tells you
What they picture for future gatherings shows you what kind of family they hope to keep building even as it changes shape.