Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“What does actually feeling calm feel like in your body, like, where do you notice it?”
What to listen for
If they can point to something specific, shoulders dropping, breathing slower, a certain place or activity, that's a great sign they're developing real self-awareness, which helps them regulate themselves without needing anyone to rescue them.
If they say calm feels rare or hard to locate, don't treat that as alarming; it's common at this age when everything feels a little loud. Just note it gently as something to keep an eye on, and maybe ask what's closest to calm even if it's not perfect calm.
A blank "I don't know" is completely normal for this kind of body-awareness question, you can rephrase it later as "what makes you feel less tense" instead.
What this tells you
This tells you how connected they are to their own body's signals, and how much they may need you to help create the conditions for that calm rather than just talk about it.