Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Was there a moment today where you felt a little nervous, even just for a second?”
What to listen for
If they name something specific right away, they trust that admitting nerves won't get brushed off or turned into a lecture, that's them feeling safe to be honest about the less shiny parts of their day.
If they minimize it ('it was nothing') after describing something that sounds big to you, they may be testing whether you'll take their feelings seriously or move past them too fast. Slow down and just stay curious a beat longer.
'Nothing, I don't know' can genuinely mean an uneventful day, but if it's a repeat answer, it might mean nervous moments don't feel worth mentioning to them yet, which is worth noticing.
What this tells you
This shows you what's quietly worrying your child that they might not bring up unless you ask directly.