Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“Has failing at something ever actually changed how you think about failure?”
What to listen for
If they describe a shift, from feeling like failure means something's wrong with them, to feeling like it's just part of trying, that's a huge, healthy development in how they relate to risk and effort.
If they're still clearly stinging from a failure, listen for whether they're being harsh on themselves, and gently reflect that trying and failing is still braver than not trying, without turning it into a lecture.
If they say failure still just feels bad, that's honest and fine, not every teen has had the reframe yet, and that's not a problem to solve tonight.
What this tells you
This tells you how safe failure feels to them, which affects how willing they'll be to take risks and try new things going forward.