Tonight with your 5 to 8 year old

The prompt

“After you have a really big feeling, what's the thing that actually helps you calm back down?”

What to listen for

If they can name a specific strategy, like deep breaths, hugging something soft, or being alone for a bit, they're showing real self-regulation skills that will serve them for the rest of their life.

If they say they need you specifically, like sitting with them or talking it through, that's a clear sign connection is their calming tool, and that's valuable information for the next big feeling that comes along.

If they say "I don't know," bring up a recent big feeling moment and ask what eventually made it better.

What this tells you

This tells you exactly what actually helps them come back to calm, so you can offer it sooner next time.