Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Is there a fight with a friend that never really got fixed, where things just went back to normal without actually talking about it?”
What to listen for
If they can describe it clearly, they've been carrying it and thinking it over, sharing it means they want a place to actually process it instead of just pretending it's fine like they did with the friend.
A shrug of 'it's whatever now' might be true, or it might be them protecting themselves from a fight that still stings. Ask what they wish they'd said at the time, which often unlocks more.
If they say every conflict gets resolved fine, gently press for an example, it's useful for them to notice that unresolved things can quietly linger even when everyone's acting normal again.
What this tells you
This shows you where your child is still holding onto something unsettled that they haven't had words for yet.