Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“When's the last time you cried, and what was going on?”
What to listen for
If they answer openly, they trust you with a genuinely vulnerable moment, which is a strong sign of emotional safety in your relationship.
If they seem reluctant or say they don't remember, they may need reassurance that crying isn't something to hide from you specifically, even if they hide it from others.
If they say they never cry, gently let that be, rather than pushing, some kids just aren't ready to go there yet, and that's okay.
What this tells you
This shows you how comfortable they are letting you see their most unguarded feelings, not just the composed version of themselves.