Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Have you ever stuck by an opinion even when your friends all disagreed with you?”
What to listen for
If they describe holding their ground, they're building real confidence in their own judgment, separate from needing the group's approval, a significant and healthy milestone.
If they admit they usually cave to fit in, that's honest and worth exploring gently, since the pull to agree with friends is strong and totally normal at this age.
If they can't think of an example, ask about a smaller opinion, like a favorite show or food, big moral stands aren't the only kind that count.
What this tells you
This shows you how much they trust their own judgment over the pull to just go along with the group.