Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“What does a really good friend actually do when things go wrong for you?”
What to listen for
If they describe specific, thoughtful actions, they know what real support looks like and likely have someone who gives it to them, a strong protective sign.
If their answer is vague or they seem unsure, they may not have had much practice receiving that kind of support yet, which is worth gently keeping an eye on.
If they describe something you do for them, take that as a genuine compliment, it means home is modeling what good support looks like.
What this tells you
This tells you what real support looks like to them, and whether they currently have someone who provides it.