Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“How does our family usually celebrate when someone does something well?”
What to listen for
If they describe it warmly and specifically, they feel genuinely seen and celebrated when they succeed, which builds real confidence to keep trying new things.
If they say we don't really do anything special, that's useful and gentle feedback, it might be worth adding small, consistent ways to mark wins, even little ones.
If they mention feeling like celebrations favor one sibling over another, take that seriously and calmly, perceived favoritism is worth addressing directly.
What this tells you
This shows you whether their effort and success currently feel noticed and celebrated in a way that actually lands for them.