Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“What's a rule at school that you think is honestly pointless?”
What to listen for
A quick, opinionated answer shows healthy critical thinking, they're starting to question authority in a normal, appropriate way rather than just obeying blindly.
If their reasoning is thoughtful ('it doesn't actually stop what it's supposed to stop'), that's worth taking seriously and even agreeing with sometimes, it shows them that questioning rules doesn't make them defiant, it makes them a person forming real judgment.
If they say every rule makes sense, ask what rule their friends complain about most, sometimes kids need permission before they'll admit they also find a rule silly.
What this tells you
This shows you how your child is starting to evaluate authority and fairness on their own terms, not just accept it.