Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“What's something you're actually better at than most people probably realize?”
What to listen for
A confident answer means they've got a private sense of competence they haven't needed anyone else to validate, that's a strong, quiet kind of self-trust.
If they mention something and then quickly downplay it ('but it's not a big deal'), they may want recognition but feel unsure it's okay to claim it out loud, that's worth gently pushing back on with real praise.
If they can't think of anything, that's worth sitting with rather than rushing to supply an answer yourself, ask what a friend would say they're good at, which sometimes unlocks it from a different angle.
What this tells you
This shows you where your child holds quiet confidence that might be going unnoticed and unpraised.