Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Is there anything about getting older that actually makes you a little nervous?”
What to listen for
A specific worry, like more responsibility or harder schoolwork, shows they're seriously thinking ahead, that's normal and it means they trust you enough to say the nervous part out loud.
If they mention losing closeness with you or changes to the family, reassure them plainly that growing up doesn't mean growing apart, that fear is common and rarely said directly.
If they insist nothing worries them, that confidence might be real, or it might be covering something, leave the door open by sharing something that made you nervous at their age.
What this tells you
This shows you what part of growing up feels exciting versus what part quietly feels like losing something safe.