Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“What does disappointment actually feel like for you when you don't get something you really wanted?”
What to listen for
A specific, physical or emotional description shows real self-awareness, they're learning to name their feelings instead of just reacting to them.
If they describe it as anger first and sadness underneath, that's a common and healthy pattern to notice together, gently, without correcting how they feel.
If they say "I don't know, I just feel bad," that's completely fine at this age, you can offer a word or two of your own experience to help build their vocabulary for it.
What this tells you
This shows how well they currently understand and can describe their own emotional reactions.