Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“What actually makes a new kid at school feel welcome?”
What to listen for
A specific, practical answer shows real empathy, they're thinking about what it feels like to be on the outside looking in, which is a sign of a caring, observant kid.
If they mention something they personally do for new kids, that's worth real praise, it shows their values are becoming actions, not just opinions.
If they say they don't know, ask how it felt when they were the new one somewhere, even in a small way, it often unlocks a more personal answer.
What this tells you
This shows how attuned they are to other people's feelings of belonging, not just their own.