Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Have you ever had to be patient with someone who was really struggling with something? What was that like?”
What to listen for
A calm, understanding account shows genuine empathy in action, not just as an idea, that's a strong marker of emotional maturity.
If they admit it was hard to stay patient, that's honest and normal, acknowledge how much effort patience actually takes rather than expecting it to feel easy.
If nothing comes to mind, ask about a time someone was patient with them instead, understanding what patience felt like to receive can be just as revealing.
What this tells you
This shows how they handle other people's struggles when there's no immediate reward for being kind about it.